The Mask

Part 1 of 3

Over the last couple of days I have been inspired to a period of reflection by the excellent and thought provoking works I have read on Substack. This resulted in three connected works.

1. The Mask

2. The Fire

3. The Ashes

I will post them separately over the next three days.

The Mask

My life has been a study in passivity.

A landscape settled into familiar contours,
fields and roads mapped out
for family, colleagues,
management, friends,
lovers, spouse, children.

All have needed something from me.

A functioning human being.

Someone dependable.
Predictable.
Safe.

Not the thing beneath.

The molten rivers.
The shifting plates.
The pressure building
far below the crust
of society’s normality.

So I learned concealment.

But beneath the mask of concealment

lay a dream.

Smaller.
More personal.

To stand before the world
as I truly am

To bear my small relics

to share their stories

without needing to turn them

into something bigger than they are.

And remain welcome.

For I am no angel, no demon,

simply human.

Capable of

kindness and cruelty,
love and hatred,
indifference and obsession.

I have been in the wrong.

I have been wronged.

I have shown grace.

I have shown fury.

I have laughed until control deserted me,
great waves breaking against the shore.
I have wept with equal abandon.
I have felt grief
like teeth in the soul,
and love
like something divine
passing briefly through mortal hands.

These are the things I learned to hide.

Not because they were monstrous.

Not because they were shameful.

But because the world asked

For someone dependable.

Predictable.

Safe.

And so I lived with the mask.

I hope you enjoy these pieces and look forward to hearing your thoughts.